So.. I've never been a super "churchie" person as an adult. Growing up, I went to a Luthern school and church early on. Later, we moved, enrolled in public school (not my choice) and stopped going to church all together. Some of my new neighbors attended church, and they always welcomed all the kids in the neighborhood to join, so my good friend Kaydee and I went once in a while. It was a Baptist church. I had many different friends growing up and would often accompany them and their family to church on Sundays. I remember all different kinds of churches, including Catholic, and I enjoyed them all. I remember the old buildings, the smell of coffee and the calm reverent atmosphere that usually pervaded a church. I remember Bibles and hymn books in the pews and singing out of those books to a piano, organ or choir. As a teenager, I definitely explored my rebellious side and attended concerts almost every weekend. I've always had a profound love for good music, and a discerning ear. Good music has the power to move, enhance, transcend, uplift, acknowledge, comfort and even educate (for better or worse;-) After many years of concert going and music worshipping, I stepped back. I really didn't know who I was. I went through a depression. My health was suffering. I would say, this period was the dark night of my soul, and it lasted way too long. I couldn't even function in the normal world because I was obsessed with understanding myself, the reason for existence and I was searching the different alternative healing paths. During this time, my sister and brother in law invited us to their church in Fort Collins. I believe it was Faith Evangelical Free church. They really thought I would like the contemporary music (loud rock bands with amplification) that was just being introduced into the churches. I was receptive at the time, because I was somewhat lost, but I found it somewhat overwhelming and had no desire to go back. If they thought that was anything like the music I was used to dancing to all night they were way off;-) Anyway, 10 or so years later, here I am finally an actual Christian. By the way, I am not a Christian because of any church influence, doctrine, the simple gospel or anything of that nature. I became a Christian after hearing about the book Heaven is for Real, reading Akiane Kremaric's book, watching Foolishness-the Skate Bible, LONG lectures and annoying (at the time) debates with my mom, and at last, READING THE BIBLE. Even though I had been an on and off church goer throughout my life, that never did it for me. In some ways, looking back, I feel like all of the endless activities of the churches were distractions for me. I know the churches try to create that family atmosphere, but a lot of those activities are pretty mindless and silly. This brings us to today. I'm still an on and off church goer. Since it wasn't the church that brought me to God, the church is kind of in the background for me. BUT, recently I've been reminded of the importance of joining together with other believers. The churches are often involved in good causes and it's good to be a part of those things (as long as they're meaningful).
This brings us to the topic at hand. Which church? I have profound issues with so many things about the churches. For instance, the fact that they celebrate the pagan holidays. This is HUGE for me. It doesn't take high spiritual discernment to know these holidays are pagan based. Why do we keep them pagan? Why not admit that Jesus birth date is, was, and shall remain a mystery instead of celebrating it with the pagan traditions of Saturnalia? Why confuse the resurrection of Jesus at Passover with the pagan fertility traditions of Ishtar (Easter)? Why try and justify Halloween? It is a Satanic holiday, and the fact that the Catholic Church tried to play it off as holy is a perversion of truth. Protestants ALL continue to promote these lies as truth. Deep breath...
Second.. I loath contemporary worship music. That's not to say that I dispise all modern Christian music. There are a few artists here and there, a few songs here and there that I can qualify as edifying. I think there is a large group of believers who prefer the contemporary concert style setting of Christian worship music, as evidenced by it's prevalence in the churches, but there are those of us, and I can see it on the faces and body gestures of those like myself who loath every second of it, praying for it to be over. The thoughts in my head: Please God, let this be the last song, I can't go on, this is torture. Now, pastors like to address the issue of people complaining about the music as such. 1) It's not about the music. It's about worshipping God. My response: If it's not about the music then why did nearly every church across America invest hundreds of thousands (I'm guessing it's in the millions) in electric music, sound boards, amplification, acoustics... (fyi: as a music person I can tell you this stuff is exPENsive!) in the early 2000's? If it's not about the music, why is it ALWAYS contemporary Christian pop/rock and not, say Christian rap, jazz, metal, folk, bluegrass or country? If it's not about the music, then why did it ever change in the first place? Was it to attract more people to the church by becoming more secular? Or was it that a lot of people were expressing concerns and complaints about wanting a different kind of music in the church? Does the new music allow these listeners to get more "into" worship? This brings me to numero 2) They guilt you. If you don't like it, it is dishonoring to God. There's something wrong in your heart. You should want to worship. My response: I really struggled with this. Is there something wrong with me? Should I be enjoying this? Is it possible to enjoy this? Short answer, for me: no!
I was introduced to the music of The Brilliance. I loved it. I thought. Why do I love this and hate other Christian music? There is a reason, and that is that not all music is created equally;;-) Some music is really music and some music just sucks. Of course, this is relative to the listener. Another thing about me. I like REAL. Real people, Real music with Real instruments, Real authentic prayer, Real food, Real truth, Realness on every level. I also want a Real God. I want the Ancient, Holy, Everlasting, Never Changing, God of the Bible. Not the commercial, corny, silly, watered down God that is often portrayed. I don't need a God relevant to modern society. I want God as he was, is and will be forever. Music expresses so many things on so many levels. It is impossible to grasp the entirety of it's influence on the listener. Music speaks telepathically in ways we understand without words. Music is important, and for me, the music spoken to and representing God is as important as the message spoken in the sermon.
So anyway, there is a solution.. to the music problem anyway. Hurray! I need to go to the traditional service. Many churches still offer a traditional service. TG for the traditional service! I like pianos and organs and choirs and orchestral music. I love old things, vintage things, ancient things. I love the sound of an old, unpolished, rusty piano. These sounds speak to my heart. I don't have to resist them. I don't have to pretend I don't hate them. I can love them. Is it about me? No. But it's about being real. Being honest. People seem to have many definition of religion. Everyone seems to have a bad connotation of the word. For me, "religion" is doing things other people think you should do, even though your heart hates them. It's doing things not out of your heart. Doing things begrudgingly. So, if worship through music is important, loving the music is also important. Amen? Sigh... ... A messianic or Hebrew roots teaching church is ultimately what I'm looking for, but I guess I'll just have to wait to have it ALL.
Ps. It is not my intention to speak against modern music, and if anyone truly loves that style of music, my opinion shouldn't dull their experience of it. As my husband says "you're the opposite of everyone". It's true. But there is always a little remnant group of fellow opposites. Those are my peeps I guess;-) Carry on!
The Brilliance: Prayers of the People
Pps.. It's also worth mentioning that there's a lot of Christian music I do like. All different styles even. I just don't like that the church bands attempt to mimic the original, but usually end up sounding really really bad. Like when your 10 year old begins violin lessons bad. Like the worst cover band ever with the most amplification ever bad. I'm going to stop here..
